Ok, you are absolutely right. Maybe this is a good idea.But my problem is- I just can't be myself with other people. This is the reason why I feel so lonely. This is not social lonelines, this is my inner lonelines. Because of it this is so difficult.But thank you a lot for your post, it makes me happy, that somebody talks to me. Im sure that I'll come to your page.
I need a soul.I need a second soul. I need a real soul.Soul which would can see me.Really see me.This is unreal.This is imposible forever. I don't have any illusion. My life is disillusion. I move in a blank space. But I'm waiting. I'm waiting all the time. I want to fall. I want to fall inside. I want to be in. But everything is imposible for somebody who is o
whathever it means.
I can't believe that somebody answered so fast. This is really strange.Thank you. You are like good omen for me MH.
Nobody is interested in me. Nobody. Fear and emptiness is sneaking toward my bed. Nobody is interested in me. What can I do? I feel as I'm disappearing. Why. What's wrong with me. What am I doing bad. What is bad in my head. I don't want to vanish. I don't want to.I need more. Help. Say something. Say something exactly to me <!-- Ju-A
I finished with Diary of Malte.Now it will be me, only me. I fill lost. I'm completely lost in this city in this country. Every day I have dreams about my city, about my country. I'm dying inside. I have dreams about driving by old trains in my city, it was awesome.I have dreams about feeding my lovely cat. I 'm dreaming about old houses in my ci
Are you sick. Are you like a piece of litter. You don't have anything more inside you? Is it everything who you are?
Are yo crazy
Not nice, It remembered me my ghastly past. I don't like friendships with women at all. Nevertheless, I wish you lucky.
Ok, I'm at last again. I'm- what mean that I will doing now only this what I want. I will doing only this what I want and thinking only this what I want. I will do everything what I want. Another people aren't more powerful than I'm. It's the end now. The end. The end. Yes, it is history now. This is history of weakness. Dark and dirty history
Yesterday between 5 and 6 p.m I was walking along a 3 street. It was like always, mexican yells,KFC food, the sky orange and purple but there was also something else. There was a blood on the street . A blood under my legs. Anxiety was growing. Today spanish worker fixed my lamp in the kitchen so I feel better- More light, said Goethe. I'm looking f
Thanks a lot, it is very nice for me to hear that. ( hmy, I know that somethimes I'm difficult to understand, but..). I've seen your's blog - and I understand you-I also like games a lot.
And, (if it is a truth) -I have impression that in reality you like and need your suffering, you can't live without your suffering, not without this guy, he is only a prop in your life spectacle- but this is ok, only emptiness is terrible; cheers.
You know, It has been written realy good .I'm reading it like a literature.
I woke up at 3 am. I can't sleep anymore. I feel inner solitude. I'm recalling former winter when everything was so full of life and distinctness. It was like mystic life. Now is only misty. I remember snow, I remember cracling 25C degrees below zero and I remember myself. It was in my country but not it is a reason. Now I'm strangling inside . I'm closed in sti
Ok, this isn' t a nice city. This isn't a nice mounth. This is a mounth of panic. This is a mounth of decay . I know it, but I'm keeping peace. I didn't have a sleep since a week. I didn't have a sleep during the night. I feel amazing in this town, I admire this city and I can't feel myself. I have lost myself between this low houses of this town, among this
I live in my apartment with my plant , and with stoled cactus. I stoled it from Malibu beach. It lives now in my tea-mug. My Brumelia and my cactus can live in the worst conditions. Ok, that is finish about my friends. Now about me. You know, this is awesome in US that I can borrow 50
I feel ghastly. I live in a dark room. I never have a day. In my room is always night. I didn't see the sun since 2 mounths. Since I live here. Today I met one person in elevator. It was a Indian man with a small, dirty dog. He wanted to make a acquaintance with me in spanish. I know that is meaningless, but later i couldn' t find my floor. I live on t
Yesterday I started to read Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge /Rilke/. First it caused my sleepiness (heavy, bizzare, short dream), and next fear and sleeplessness. It was fear of death. I coudn't stand lying in my dark room, my empty room with white walls, my claustrophobic room, I had to stood up and went somewhere. In this way arised Secret Literary Diary of Mal
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