it won't let upgrade ships I have the regular version
Doesn't matter which version. It's not about upgrading ships you already built (which can't be done in any version, except for commander ships). As you research new techs bigger, more powerful ships will become available. As I said, send out research missions if you can to speed the process. Another trick is to build supply ships to help your core worlds grow faster.
Just a helpful note, always reference which version of the game you're playing (base vs Supernova) so the person trying to help understands where you're coming from