Curious, What does FRIENDSHIP mean to YOU!

from JoeUser Forums
In My last article Deference brought up friendship means something different to him than it does to me.


I am real curious about this, {learning still} May I have your age, sex and what does friendship mean to you at this point in your life?

To me it means that I am always there for my friends, no matter what, their friendship carries a lot of weight and importance to me,

I am not ever to busy to listen to a friend, offer an ear or some advice if asked.

To me friends are my family, the closest people to me, the ones I depend on for strength in times of need, the ones I am strong for when needed.

Friends are a rare commodity, we USUALLY do not have a ton of real friends, most people I know have less than a handful of them.

I have many people I am friendly with, but not many friends { I count four} THE ONES I have have been time tested and they are still here, through the worse of tragedies to the best of times, still here.

This is not some kind of "test" I will not argue my ideas are better than yours are.

Basically it is just an "inquiring mind wants to know"
6,341 views 33 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

http://lifehappens.joeuser.com/index.asp?AID=95053

I wrote about this same subject in December.

I wrote about real life, shaking hands, eat at your house kind of friends.

Cyber friends are a different breed and I think for me personally, the rules change a bit.  But cyber friends can become real life friends if the seeds sewn on the net are taken into more private quarters.

There are people I like on the net, alot.  People I would love to meet in person because they are so compelling.  But I've never done it.

I do believe to have a true friendship with someone though, you have to know them, see them (at least sometimes) and learn who they are in the physical world.  I am not saying friendship and romance can't begin on the net, but if that's as far as it goes...I don't consider that "real friendship."

Having said all that though I can say I have occasionally become emotionally tied to a writer or person on the internet.  And it almost always gets me in trouble.

So perhaps we need to coin a new phrase for people we know on the net, that we like well enough to call more than an acquaintance, but not yet a flesh and blood friend?

 

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
#1 by Tova7
Thursday, March 02, 2006


I wrote about this same subject in December.
I wrote about real life, shaking hands, eat at your house kind of friends.
Cyber friends are a different breed and I think for me personally, the rules change a bit. But cyber friends can become real life friends if the seeds sewn on the net are taken into more private quarters.


michele who blogs here occasionally {gimpyone} is someone I met online years ago, we met made friends and still are, we fly to see each other at least once a year and we gab on the phone once or twice daily, I know everything about her, her kids, her shithead husband grrrrr... she knows everything about me, my lady, my life past and present.
Star Control: Origins
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I like Tova's response.  While I think I have made some friends here at JU, until the relationship goes further, they are just acquaintances.  Does that mean I am going to turn around and betray them?  No.  But there is not the bonding that you have with friends you see in your life.  We know a lot about each other, but we dont know all.  And good friends usually do.  Like you and Michelle.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
3 by Dr. Guy
Thursday, March 02, 2006


While I think I have made some friends here at JU, until the relationship goes further, they are just acquaintances.


exactly, you know I like you and consider you one of my strongest allies here on joeuser, but until we meet, share some life we are just that aquaintances.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
ummm I am 40 yrs and I think the last time I checked I was a female. Friendship to me means a lot more now than it did when I was younger. In highschool you/I was judged by the amount of friends you had or the kind of friends you had. Jocks hung out with jocks, brainie-acks hung out with brainie-acks and so on. There really was no mixing of the types of friends. I look back at that now and I am truly sad that we/I acted that way. I am sure I missed out on some true friends.
Friendship to me now means a lot more. I can count on one hand, with fingers left over, the amount of true friends I have now. Is that a bad thing?? NOPE. I have a lot of aquaintances that I talk to but do I consider them a true friend? Nope. Friendship now means that I am there for my friends always no matter what. If its 3 in the morning and my friend just needs to hear my voice than by all means call me or hell stop over( elie, I will leave a light on for you.) A friend is someone I can trust with my life, my secrets, my soul. Trust is a major deal with me. If I can not trust you than do I really want you as a friend? I friend is someone I can always depend on and they on me. A friend is someone that you can share your fears, your tears and your laughter with.
If I am having a bad day I know that there is one person out there that I can depend on to help me see the brighter side of things. A friend will not allow that person to wallow in self pity for longer than a minute. I can be so down sometimes and all it takes is the phone to ring and I know who it is before I even answer. Sure as hell it is my best friend, he just knows when I need him, and I think I know when he needs me. Just the sound of his voice makes my day a bit brighter...
II hope this all makes sense Elie

Thank you for the opportunity Elie for allowing me to be your friend. AND ELIE???


NOW NOW NOW NOW
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm 27 and female (you should know this by now, hehe).

I'm not too restrictive about what I consider friendship. I have "this stage of life" friends and "always friends".

My husband is my best friend, and satisfies pretty much all my human interaction needs when he's home. Haha. Seriously, when I have a choice of doing something with him or someone else, I'd always rather do things with him. He knows me better than anyone else in the world. Although my parents come in a very close second.

Another blogger here, LobsterHunter, is a real life friend. We were childhood best friends, and though we have grown apart with time as far as life circumstances go, she's still very much a friend. She was the Maid of Honor at my wedding, and even came to stay with me for a couple of weeks when my husband was deployed. She's an "always" friend. We could go a year without talking and still pick things right back up. I put my friend Chris in the same category. We haven't talked in quite a while, but we could pick things right back up where we left off.

Here in Hawaii, I have "this stage of life friends"...we talk and cry (and throw dishes, lol) together, but when we move, the friendship will dissolve or fade or whatever. That doesn't bother me. When Lani calls me in the middle of the night upset and asks me to go meet her outside, I will. She's done similar things for me as well.

I'm not one to have day-to-day, let's go do everything together friends. My husband is all I need when it comes to that. It's more of being there when a friend needs me, and vice versa. We each have our lives and our families and our own things going on. When there's a need that the other can fill, we seek each other out, whether it's everyday for a week or once every other week.

I think online friendships can be friendships just as much as real life ones. Not all online friendships are the solid, I care about you kind...more of the...we have stuff in common or I find you interesting, let's chat every-so-often kind.

I have some friends online that have been every bit as much of a friend to me as any real life friends. My friendship needs are usually not physical ("Can I get a ride to the airport?"), but more emotional needs. Because of that, some online friendships can be just as solid and real to me as any others.

The "always" friendships are more rare than the "this stage of life" friendships, but I treasure each. I appreciate anyone who is willing to care for me. I don't mourn the loss of "this stage of life" friends, either, nor does it make me feel bitter or that they weren't really friends. There was something we both needed during our friendship, and we helped each other with that, and when it was over, it was just natural that it was over and we grew apart. That's ok.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Great topic!

To me friendship is more than just "being there" for each other. I mean, my psychologist is "there" for me, and he's great and all, but I wouldn't consider him a friend.

Because of the realities of my life, most my friends live hundreds of miles away. We aren't at each others special family and personal events. We don't get together for dinner. In fact, I'll probably never actually see most of them (face to face at least) again. But they are friends.

To me, the fact that when we do talk, it's as if we have never been apart. Whether it has been days, weeks, months (or in a couple of cases.. even years) since the last time we talked, we just pick up where we left off. In the course of the conversation we do kind of "catch up" but we never really notice that's what we are doing.

So how does that make us friends? Because on an almost daily basis, we are thinking of either other, we care about each other and keep that connection not just open, but active.

It may seem strange to think of friendship that way, but hey, you asked what it means to me. ;~D
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
#5 by Gimpyone
Thursday, March 02, 2006


there is always a light on for you michele and your bedroom is redecorated and awaiting your arrival.

cheater! brat! and woman I love.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
#6 by Texas Wahine
Thursday, March 02, 2006


My friendship needs are usually not physical ("Can I get a ride to the airport?"), but more emotional needs. Because of that, some online friendships can be just as solid and real to me as any others.


this is so perfect tex.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
#7 by ParaTed2k
Thursday, March 02, 2006


Because of the realities of my life, most my friends live hundreds of miles away. We aren't at each others special family and personal events. We don't get together for dinner. In fact, I'll probably never actually see most of them (face to face at least) again. But they are friends.


mine too ted are distant, but I make sure not to much time passes without me seeing their face. that is just me though.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi,
Je pense que, thériquement, il faut pas ouvrir beaucoup de portes et avoir beaucoup d'amis, de manière à ce que le droit à l'erreur soit minime...C'est réaliste sans être misanthrope ni d'ailleurs pessimiste, enfin je pense... Mes amis diront bien sûr le contraire, comme d'habitude...
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
MM:
I'm a female of almost 59 years ( am 58).

To me friendship means having ( and being) a friend that I can trust with who I am, what I was,
what I hope to become and accomplish without being judged, condemned, and forsaken.

Friendship means having a buddy to cry with, laugh with, and maybe even share a favourite hobby, such as fishing, with.

Friendship to me means someone I can depend on if my car breaks down, and likewise I help him/her too, whatever comes up that needs helping with.

Friends will keep your secrets, not betray you, not ignore you when they're busy, and likewise I'd understand if they can't do something right now, will keep their secrets, ect.

Friends won't cover for your wrong doing if it's breaking the law, as they have to be a friend to themselves, or if you're hurting yourself will try to talk to you about it.

True friends leave you feeling like you know their soul, that you're safe with them.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
12 by Trudygolightly
Thursday, March 02, 2006


I have to give you one of my rare Insightfuls for this answer.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
#11 by marzouki
Thursday, March 02, 2006


Hi,
Je pense Que, thériquement, il faut pas ouvrir beaucoup de portes et avoir beaucoup dame, de manière à ce Que le droit à leur soit minime...Chest réaliste sans être misanthrope ni dailleurs pessimiste, enfin je pense... Mes amis diront bien sûr le contraire, comme d'habitude...


if I could only understand what you wrote, I would be happy, but I am just an ignorant American and only speak English much to my chagrin.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Friend: Any animal one interacts with in one's life given the correct perspective (understanding) and opportunity.

as with any mathmatical equation, the formula is true if the inverse of the statement is also correct

So a non-friend, innately realizing the above statement true will abstain from any interaction with another to squelch the possibilities of both understanding and opportunity.

Deference: Male, 26
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
#15 by Deference
Thursday, March 02, 2006


Friend: Any animal one interacts with in one's life given the correct perspective (understanding) and opportunity.

as with any mathmatical equation, the formula is true if the inverse of the statement is also correct

So a non-friend, innately realizing the above statement true will abstain from any interaction with another to squelch the possibilities of both understanding and opportunity.

Deference: Male, 26


damn you are bright, and considering your youth way ahead of the learning curve.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
High praise, Moderateman, high praise.

Thanks.

I'm still working out the kinks, but perhaps some day soon I'll be able to write a fine thread regarding this topic in more detail.

...considering your youth way ahead of the learning curve. - Moderateman

I've walked in many people's shoes and spent much time thinking...
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Male, 44. A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail at 4:00am. A good friend is someone who is sitting in jail with you saying "damn that was fun!"
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
I have to give you one of my rare Insightfuls for this answer


Why thanks MM I'm glad you liked the post.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: MasonMPosted: Friday, March 03, 2006Male, 44. A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail at 4:00am. A good friend is someone who is sitting in jail with you saying "damn that was fun!"


that's the end of Emails from docmiler.. I have always loved that one.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
I like and agree with your idea of what a friend is: "To me it means that I am always there for my friends, no matter what, their friendship carries a lot of weight and importance to me,

I am not ever to busy to listen to a friend, offer an ear or some advice if asked.

To me friends are my family, the closest people to me, the ones I depend on for strength in times of need, the ones I am strong for when needed."


And I like Ted's as well:


"Because of the realities of my life, most my friends live hundreds of miles away. We aren't at each others special family and personal events. We don't get together for dinner. In fact, I'll probably never actually see most of them (face to face at least) again. But they are friends.

To me, the fact that when we do talk, it's as if we have never been apart. Whether it has been days, weeks, months (or in a couple of cases.. even years) since the last time we talked, we just pick up where we left off. In the course of the conversation we do kind of "catch up" but we never really notice that's what we are doing.

So how does that make us friends? Because on an almost daily basis, we are thinking of either other, we care about each other and keep that connection not just open, but active."


Both description is how my friendships are. Oh yeah, and I'm female, and 40. All of my friends live far away from me. I can count five who I'm pretty close to. They mean the world to me and although we don't see each other everyday, we talk often, and we always keep in touch. And although sometimes there are absences that can mean a month or two of no contact - we all lead busy lives - it doesn't mean we lose each other in the process, if nothing else, our bond grows stronger.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
#21 by foreverserenity
Tuesday, March 07, 2006


I knew we had some things in common donna, the more I reaad you the more I see them.



elie
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
I have always liked the saying that different kinds of friends enter your life, some for a lifetime, some for a season and some for a reason. I have had people who were great friends who got me through a tough spot and then moved on (that would be a friend for a reason). I have had people who were friends while we were neighbors and shared life experiences during that time (friends for a season). And the most exclusive group are the few friends who have always been there and always will be.

I close friend is someone who knows your faults and loves you anyway.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

"I have many people I am friendly with, but not many friends { I count four} THE ONES I have have been time tested and they are still here, through the worse of tragedies to the best of times, still here"

i could say the exact same for myself. in fact, i will. when you're in trouble, an acquaintance might be there for you, but a friend is there with you.

mig xxx

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Speaking on this subject, me and one of my life long friends from the Army just spent 3 1/2 hours on the phone. It started out as an IMing session, but she needed me more than IMs can offer.

We can't say we have been there for each other all that often, but there are times we can be. It is for those precious times that we are still (and will always be) friends.