I agree...sorry I went there...shudda seen it coming. 

Aye, that they be... but that thar wench 'aves nine of 'em.... an' em all 'aves teeth.

Now now, children, pull up a pew and we'll have a Sunday School lesson.... to save all arguments, I will tell you how it REALLY IS... and WAS

That was a joke, Cap'n. That's what I tried to convey with the 'smile' and my screenshot.

Ah, but I wasn't joking... I really know how it all began!  And it weren' no big bang, neither!  It was two actually!

Once upon a time in a far off 'non-descript land'  (non-descript because the Universe hadn't been invented yet), there were two atoms arguing about who could fart the loudest and longest... and the result was a farting contest that resulted in two enormous eruptions which created good and evil, the origins of life, the universe and religion. 

Well, being that humans originated from the ginormous eruptions of good and evil, religion came about to explain the difference between good and evil, who to trust and not to trust, and that the bloke in charge of good would do really nice things for you if you behaved yourself, and thus the collection plate was invented to prove that you were a good person

Now the monies from those collection plates were used to build lavish churches and provide jobs for priests who had an aversion to manual labour and didn't want to work in the fields reaping what they had sown.... which wouldn't have been much because they didn't like work and felt they could make a better living by keeping up appearances and praying to the bloke in charge of the ginormous good eruption.

There is, however, a downside to all this!  The bloke in charge of the evil eruption likes to make a nuiscance of himself and steal things... mostly other peoples money if he can get it  And worse still, he has trained his disciples - the big bank executives - to follow in his footsteps and steal other peoples money as well.

Hope fully that explain it all very clearly for you all and dispels any false beliefs in religion and the theory of Evolution.

No worries, matey, I understand... it can be a contentious issue, and just like it is everyone's right to hold their beliefs, it is your right to refrain.  I generally avoid in depth religious discussion myself, and I try not to offend anyone, thus the over the top tongue in cheek and deliberate avoidance of naming any particular religion/belief.

     Good on ya mate.

You deserve a slap for bumping this thread Jim

No, but that is where all the shitty ideas come from. The extra small undie hold in the farts, so the farts travel up the spine and cause all the shitty ideas, like opening the can of worms that I did here.