Note: This story is based on a diplomatic negotiation I had with the Dregin. This story was written for an English class for Chirstmas. Yes, I know Christmas is over.Christmas Negotiations
The shuttle Impending Doom slowed its approach as the docking station. As it clicked into place above the hatch, the ambassador checked everything in the ship. Engines? Check. Computer? Check. The "Please-Don’t-Kill-Me" Gift? Check. The ambassador climbed out of the hatch, and was immediately greeted by the horned guards of the Drengin.
The ambassador looked around the bleak corridor and then said, "The, uh, meeting is right through this door, ummm right?" Instead of replying, each guard flanked him and roughly moved him into the next room. The two guards left, leaving a locked door behind them. Shortly after, a second door opened and out stepped the Drengin ambassador, who wearing the bulky armor that Drengin seemed to wear wherever they went.
"Uh, I here for the meeting, you know, the one today," began the human ambassador. The Drengin merely shrug his massive shoulders. Even outside of the battle armor, this ambassador very easily stood one or two feet taller than the human.
God, thought the human, why me? Someone in
Foreign Relations & Other Diplomatic Issues must have
hated him. The Drengin were notoriously hard to talk with, difficult to please, extremly competitive, and more-often-than-not just put your head on a pike and declared war. In fact, this negotiation was to end a war that the previous ambassador had gotten them into. At least the Drengin had sent his body back mostly intact.
"Come so soon to surrender, human?" asked the Drengin ambassador in a mocking tone.
"No, no, but I was hoping to reach a mutual agreement in which we might-"
"One thousand billion credits and we’ll end this war," interrupted the Drengin ambassador. The Drengin seemed remarkably willing to – wait ONE THOUSAND BILLION credits?! The ambassador slumped down into a seat. The department had been willing to give whatever supplies were necessary for the negotiations, but this was ridiculous.
"Well, could we just have peace, look its Christmas and-"
The Drengin interrupted, but now in a more curious manner, "Christmas? Explain."
"Well, uh, back a couple of hundred years it used to have religious significance or something, but now it’s a week of relaxing and giving gifts. Sometimes we like to see who gives the best gift, but that’s just-" started the human ambassador.
"So, it’s a contest?" questioned the Drengin ambassador, now keenly interested.
"Well," began the ambassador, but he stopped as he began to form a clever plan, "Yes, it is." The ambassador the produced the gift he had brought with him, that he originally thought he might use to bargain for his life. "Accept this gift in the name of Christmas," he said solemnly.
Like a greedy little kid on Christmas morning, the Drengin ambassador fell on the box and tore the wrapping off.
"It’s a 24-carat gold box containing a plasma dagger," said the human.
The Drengin seemed to halt for a moment in thought, and then smiled broadly, showing many large pointed teeth, "I’ve gotten something even better, human: not only can your people have peace, you can have the one thousand billion credits! Beat that."
The human nearly choked when he heard this. Faking disappointment, "Damn, I’ve got nothing better! You win."
The Drengin laughed and replied, "Then leave, this contest is already over!"
Five minutes later, not only was the human ambassador on his shuttle, he was 2 parsecs away. He wanted to put as much distance between him and the Drengin as possible. They wouldn’t be happy when they realized they had been tricked…
Epilogue
Two weeks later, the human ambassador was then promoted to director of Foreign Relations & Other Diplomatic Issues. The Drengin ambassador was the only ambassador from that meeting to have his head attached to something other than his neck.
A week later, the Drengin redeclared war. Unfortunately for them, all their money was in human hands. A week later the Drengin surrendered.
Note: Essentially, in my game, I was fighting the Dregin, but we were both on even footing (ie I had technology, they had numbers and resources). I wanted to recuperate my forces, so I went to ask for peace. You can see what they offered. Of couarse I refused, but I actual convinced them to not only give me peace, but all their money! I guess they must really have wanted peace, and were just trying to swindle me out of as much as they could.
Yes, they did redeclare war on me in the game too, right after I pulled my fleets out of their sensor range. Also, the date in game was around Christmas too, so this is a convenient explanation!
